The demand to keep up seems to keep me above water.
So much to the point that I’m gracefully skimming across, with nothing stopping me.
And like a ninja in the night, soaring on dark waters, katana out and ready to attack…
I realize no one has yet to come aggressive…in the nature of competition.
Because I’ve decided there’s no reason to compete with anyone but myself.
Call it a yo yo. It seems as though the main struggle is getting up in the morning at 6am everyday to work. Don’t get me wrong, I love working. But sometimes I wonder if I have too much on my plate?
Then again, if it isn’t challenging, it is more than likely not worth it. In fact, if there is no struggle at all, how can productivity come from it?
I have no one to compare myself to. I have decided fully not to network with authors out of my genre type more so because…I don’t like competing. It isn’t because I don’t like losing. But if we’re doing two different things and I’m introvert, there’s no reason to compete.
I will finish. I will write, draw and promote my ass off until I can no longer do so. When things change, drama has been let in. Since I refuse to even glance at the opposite sex, no other drama can really come in and take charge.
The only person getting in the way is me.
It is sickening to be 26 and have few friends doing anything with their lives.
If you have children and aren’t caring for them entirely, this message is for you.
If your concern is yourself, and you still haven’t finished school or are working at a place longer than six months, this is for you.
If you find yourself being looked down upon because you think life is about partying, drinking, getting ass and being beautiful…this is for you.
I’m coming around the anniversary of the second year in which I finished writing my first book. I have to tell you…prior to 2012…I was always out partying, drinking, flirting, coming home trashed.
I always take care of my children-hung over or not. They have always been with me. But I didn’t want to sit around, use government benefits, and look cute. All the while…my kids (especially my daughter) has no example of completion.
I don’t care who you can drink under the table. Can you clean your house?
I don’t care how pretty you are. Have you decided what to do with your life? You’re close to be thirty very soon. Will you be thirty with multiple kids, no job, government help, and a mouthful of ignorance?
It is to suggest that you shouldn’t take bad about people…but I have always had a job-benefits or not. But my better calling is writing, illustrating, my site and my fans.
I took advantage of what I could do. When I saw things could get difficult, I found ways around it.
Here’s a clear example…during my horrible relationship and lack of computer…I wrote, illustrated, edited, and promoted on a seven inch screen (kindle). I finished writing Bleeding Stars and Paper Hearts ON MY KINDLE, and edited both Anguished Immortals: Book Three and Bleeding Stars and Paper Hearts, Reckless Intentions.
It was hard, but I wanted to finish. I knew when it was done, I would feel amazing. And I did.
There was something else that came up…a scene from Anguished Immortals: Book Two that would be hard to articulate artistically.
And I nailed it. I struggled…truly. But I nailed it.
I am not throwing this in your faces. But I am concerned.
Do you truly feel it’s okay to be a fuck off until it seems like everything has failed you?
I see now why people think I’m more mature than I am (age wise) or when I’m looked down upon for my age and often my race.