Dug Myself Out

image

It is said that choices do not define who we are.
I beg to differ.
If you chose to hate another race for no legitimate reason-you’re a racist.
If you chose to eat yourself in weight, not work out, or do anything with your life-you’ll become obese with a slew of other complications.
If you chose to hit a woman because you want to get your way-whether pushing her to the ground, striking her on the face…whatever…you’re abusive.
So on and so forth.
So when someone decides that it is perfectly okay to judge anything you do-they are miserable…always have been. Always will be.
Should we allow people who live by their choices to get under our skin?
No. But…make the choice to be the better person.
***
Busier Than Usual!

I have to apologize!  I have been so enthralled in the website and keeping numbers up that I didn’t make an effort to write a blog. I did…however…realize I had nothing to say! Lol
So! My kindle crashed lol I lost all of my poetry saved on the device but it is still available here on my blog. I almost thought I lost my progress for book three of #BSPH, but fortunately…I absent mindedly saved those documents on drop box, lol.
I will continue and finish that manuscript, and continue writing poetry.
But…I will not be releasing a poetry compilation. I have been very tired and have been helping with my kids homework.
And of course…trying to keep sane.
My mother recently had a two week vacation…
She believes that her presence is aweinspiring. If this is to suggest that one should lock themselves into a closet to avoid her…than yes…I agree.
She is picky. Extremely judgemental. Rude, opinionative. I hear it’s a mother thing but I’m grown…
She isn’t about her wits and has no friends either. I am her supposed…only friend.
I would rather drink lava.
I have no idea what she will do when we move in February. She is afraid she will never see her grandchildren again and believes she can defeat death.
So basically I have been babysitting for two weeks!
***
The Obligation Code

Currently, I don’t have as many short stories ready as I would prefer. I also need artwork for my main character and a title cover.
This will not take long, but I am so excited to be bringing yet another character for you all to read about!
The synopsis will be available when I’ve reached my goal for stories, and after the premiere…short stories will be added monthly or bi-weekly.
Hoping to have quite a few ready before Halloween…but we shall see. Everytime I set to do something…someone else who is completely irrelevant gets in the way.

***

Dear Billy

I remember how horrible this time last year was. I couldn’t write, illustrate, promote…or work in general. At the end of the day…my ex found nothing wrong with this…even though he thought what I did for a living was cool.
Afterwards…he created a Twitter account and whenever he could…he would post horrible things…suggesting I should take my life…so on and so forth…when he was the one entirely in the wrong.
None of my friends or family members liked him. He wanted credit for things that didn’t matter and when he decided that hitting me and man handling me would fix things, I saw how much of a fool I was.
I look at my boyfriend now and I see why it took us so long to get together, trust each other…and be open.
He too went through similar things.
At the end of the day, my ex will tell anyone I was a horrible person and make up things…suggesting I cheated and lied to him only to save face.
If you are in an abusive relationship…leave. If they seem to be addicted to liquor, sugars, and attention…be afraid. Be concerned. And leave.
It isn’t simple but I refused to allow someone who has no worth…try to take mine.
With my boyfriend now-I was recently interviewed on a radio show. My website flourishes. He reads my work and will soon be writing for Byond Epic Ent. We both love Anime, Mangas, Western Comics, Cosplay and are overall two happy nerds in a pod.
With my ex…it was fascinating…but I was his trophy until he was angry. Then I was a stupid smart person even though he was drunk, lost all of our money and didn’t have a pot to piss in and a window to throw it out of.
At first…it was hard dealing with the pain. Now I often get upset for falling for it. But I am thankful to have left him in his mess.
He is 33 and will be 34 soon and still doesn’t have a steady job/career. He can’t seem to keep his phone on and I don’t think he understands all that he’s done.
What’s sad (And hilarious) was when he tried to get me to talk to him…knowing all to well what he had done. He actually sent me a text saying “hey you,” when really I wanted to pave things over and move on.
I realized this was how he kept other exes as friends…which to me is unheard of.
And as I have grown a little more…finished things I wanted and progressed through life as a mother and a lover…I see that he is in a cycle he himself created.
And I’m not meant for that type of life 🙂

***
Website Visitor Goal

I am pressing for 50,000 visitors by the end of this year…which would round up to 100,000 visitors…by myself….in a little less than two years. I am actually close to 70,000 now and I am excited for what October, November and December will bring!
I recently brought back to use two Twitter accounts I didn’t have time for last year. These are for Azrael and Enyo.
Soon I will have accounts for Brandon and Adrianna from Bleeding Stars and Paper Hearts and hoping I can also add Tobias and Asha from The Anguished Immortals Trilogy.
The more the merrier.
It is hard networking and getting people to notice you. Sometimes a new approach is a needed one. Instead of poking my lip out or expecting hand outs…working towards my goal seems to fit better!
***

Thanks to all my follows new and old! Thanks for the likes and as always…thanks for reading! Enjoy your weekend!

2 Comments Add yours

  1. jvlivs says:

    Wow! You have been through a lot, and you managed to pull yourself through. This motivates me to get my dreams and goals started. Thank you.

    BJ

    1. gnjcs says:

      I see you’ve commented on a few pieces of my work, so I will only respond once. One…thank you for not only taking time to actually read this blog and my poetry…but expressing yourself as well. Two, thanks for following the blog! And lastly…I am happy to know this blog could motivate you, that was purpose in its design. Enjoy your holiday!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.