Love Yourself

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I have to admit, being on the sidelines will make you think about life. I recently came out of the hospital with terrible news. News that would scare anyone.

 

Thursday morning, I checked into the ER because I was short of breath and dizzy. After a couple hours of examining, test, and giving away my blood unwillingly…the doctors found ten blood clots in both lungs (five in each of my lobes.) The question is…how did I not die?

 

Please don’t assume I’ll be taking my good luck for granted. I am hoping this never occurs again. Of course, I have to remain on blood thinners for the rest of my life. On top of that…they still aren’t sure if my initial diagnosis of lupus is even accurate anymore–except that I have pulmonary embolism(s).

 

For right now? I had planned on working and living life normally. I can’t imagine doing anything else. But I can also see that I’m tired…more so than usual. And that part is a little discouraging. On the other hand…going and finding out showed me that I should value my life more…instead of attempting to please everyone–including people I love.

 

It sounds hurtful and selfish but it isn’t. I say it to suggest that perhaps I am doing way too much. Family members need love…but in order for me to function…I need to love myself…first.

 

So I will be taking it easy. For now.

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