We often allow woes to creep from the depths of our actual despair, not realizing or caring if anyone could actually be going through something worse. Often times, I am guilty of this. But I have lupus, so I have my reasons.
Though I am alive, I have sacrificed a lot to be here, so I am unsure of my footing upon others emotions. Most of the time, it feels as though I am walking on air.
Throughout my career, my many successes have never encountered such a calling from my soul. A situation which makes you place your pride aside when you realize how fortunate you are.
A few days after receiving news that has changed my life, I was told by a family member that a younger cousin of mine had a seizure. She has lupus, per diagnosis, and it affects her kidneys and brain. She is only 9 years old.
I couldn’t breathe for a moment, and every little thing I was anticipating from my huge gain didn’t seem to matter. Someone else is suffering far worse than me. It shook me to the core, so my cousin and I devised a plan so I could visit soon.
Within this tragedy, I also found a light brighter than any light I have ever seen before. My cousin (the girls mother) told me that not only does this poor little girl admire me, she tells her all about my work. I melted a little inside-knowing that I inspire a child that isn’t mine. It is her step daughter, and I was also informed that the child’s mother is serving time behind bars. I am not her replacement, but I hope I can be an inspiration for as long as either of us are breathing.
Typically, I’m angry with the world. Mostly, utterly ashamed. But today, I am grateful I made it to 32…so I can continue to be a beacon of light to my cousin and her step daughter.
Yes, a novel of mine is being turned into a film. That means money and even more fame. But…being told I inspire a girl suffering from a disease most unthinkable…
That is an accomplishment. I am almost suggesting I am not worthy.