Change of the Tides

We often allow woes to creep from the depths of our actual despair, not realizing or caring if anyone could actually be going through something worse. Often times, I am guilty of this. But I have lupus, so I have my reasons.

Though I am alive, I have sacrificed a lot to be here, so I am unsure of my footing upon others emotions. Most of the time, it feels as though I am walking on air.

Throughout my career, my many successes have never encountered such a calling from my soul. A situation which makes you place your pride aside when you realize how fortunate you are.

A few days after receiving news that has changed my life, I was told by a family member that a younger cousin of mine had a seizure. She has lupus, per diagnosis, and it affects her kidneys and brain. She is only 9 years old.

I couldn’t breathe for a moment, and every little thing I was anticipating from my huge gain didn’t seem to matter. Someone else is suffering far worse than me. It shook me to the core, so my cousin and I devised a plan so I could visit soon.

Within this tragedy, I also found a light brighter than any light I have ever seen before. My cousin (the girls mother) told me that not only does this poor little girl admire me, she tells her all about my work. I melted a little inside-knowing that I inspire a child that isn’t mine. It is her step daughter, and I was also informed that the child’s mother is serving time behind bars. I am not her replacement, but I hope I can be an inspiration for as long as either of us are breathing.

Typically, I’m angry with the world. Mostly, utterly ashamed. But today, I am grateful I made it to 32…so I can continue to be a beacon of light to my cousin and her step daughter.

Yes, a novel of mine is being turned into a film. That means money and even more fame. But…being told I inspire a girl suffering from a disease most unthinkable…

That is an accomplishment. I am almost suggesting I am not worthy.

7 Comments Add yours

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