I recall, one day in my late twenties,thinking I had all the answers.
Then boom! My ex hit me, so I used a firearm in defense. The next three years after that, showed that what I thought was stable, was absolute madness.
It took a long time to admit there was something wrong, very much so, with me. But not in the sense you’re thinking.
Aside from the obvious, I had the inability to choose the proper mate. I kept dating men who would cheat, steal, lie…do drugs…and even try to physically abuse me. I can partially thank my Christian mother for that.
“Pray about it.” “We deserve death.” I kept playing these thoughts back in my head, as I picked the scum of the Earth to date and fall in love with.
The minute I was in jail, therapy, and then DV classes, I began to realize how very wrongly I was raised.
This blog will go over spiritual growths…and stunts. The usage of words and religion for manipulation (briefly) and how to overcome…as it is a day to day thing.
First things first…Spiritual Growth is the same as ascendance, something we previously discussed. Spiritually stunting yourself will be shown in the following examples.
Never, in your existence, should you ever date someone who thinks their vices make them a great individual. Yes, accept them, but people willing to steal and lie are probably not the best people to be with. While the honesty seems to be amazing, it is only for a short while. Eventually, they will start stealing from you, and lying as well…if they haven’t already.
Take a step back. Do you steal or lie? Do you do drugs or sleep around? If not, the reason they’re pouring their vices out on you…is to use it for ammunition later. They’ll say things in arguments like, “You knew how I was.” Or, my favorite, “You’re supposed to take a person for their good AND bad.”
That couldn’t be further from the truth. Everyone has issues, however, individuals using theirs to get over on anyone they come across are definitely empty vessels, energy vampires or lost souls. There should never be a point in your life that using someone is a way to survive.
The next part to this is the naysaying a lot have been taught under the ragtag ideals of man made religion.
Why would you tell someone they’re born in bondange, will always be poor…deserve death and will never amount to much? So you can control their reactions and their life. If at any time someone is demeaning you by assuming you should accept their twisted ideology of “god” and happiness, you can guarantee there’s a grand scheme behind it.
Fact: All diabolical schemes fail. The energy behind the plots have been stolen from those who are of light. You have to keep putting individuals under your foot in order to progress. It never works because it’s not meant to.
However, some of us allow these things to take place. Let’s take a step away from religion, and focus on our day to day with others.
ANYONE telling you what you can’t do…is usually hoping you listen. Misery enjoys company. So, for years, I would hear that I wouldn’t be “rich”, or furthermore happy. That my career was just to “get me writing,” and how no one thought it would go anywhere.
Imagine if I had listened to that! I didn’t see it at the time, but all of that was happening…to keep me from progressing. It was done…so I would be 34 years old, sitting at home “praising God,” still in a slump, and angry that I listened to the crazy person I call my mother.
Instead, I decided since I’d never say those hurtful things to my own children, it was wrong. I worked on moving away from it and enabling myself with my own power. A power no one else can control BUT ME. The truth of the matter is…people put you down…because they are down. They seek to hurt you because they are hurt. And you can be kind, or say encouraging words…but a lot will shoot your praises and help down.
Walk away. Build yourself up. Understand yourself. Know that manipulation is used to keep you from moving…but it’s totally up to you how your life will go.
Other things to look for…people who want you to settle for half the result. When others rip into already planted ideas. Or when you’ve achieved something, and the response is, “Yes, but ‘god’ gave it to you.” When you clearly worked for it yourself.
Overcoming these obstacles is an everyday thing. Because someone will always try to bring you down. But the person who does this the most…is yourself.
I can ignore my mother and anyone else who tries hurting me. Yet, I cannot run from myself.
In this next segment, we’ll talk about two different scenarios, and how to deal with them.
When it is someone else-
Disengage. If this doesn’t work, ask forward questions.
Accomplishments- “You won’t necessarily make a movie, but it’s good you tried.”
Perfect response- “Have you made it as far as me?”
No, they haven’t. Which is exactly why they’re trying to make you feel bad. Give up now, and prove them right. You won’t, but you don’t have to listen to them either. Putting your foot down doesn’t mean you’re being mean…you’re standing your ground. Set limits, and when those lines are crossed, remind them. Idling also makes them think they’ve won.
The past- “Remember when so and so hurt you?”
Perfect response- “How long ago was that? What does that have to do with anything?”
Shut. It. Down. Bringing up bad memories, things that you’ve done…and issues that no longer matter are ways to keep you from vibrating higher, which, by the way…is why they’re doing that in the first place. If you were both low vibrating beings, they wouldn’t bother with you in any way. When they see you’re higher, doing better and are happy…the attack begins.
You’re thinking…that happens all the time! That’s why the “news” is irrelevant! The best way to deal with gossip, or someone you know who’s constantly negative…is to give them less to discuss..and over all…ignore them.
The way you are *how you dress, eat, or the music you listen to*
Phrases such I don’t, How could, When I are the beginning of sentences and questions that go something like this-
“I don’t like this song. How do you listen to this? When I was your age…we listened to…”
That’s nice. No one asked you. While it’s fine to be nostalgic…if you didn’t ask…they’re addressing it by being overbearing with age and distaste. They’re saying, “Oh, you’re enjoying yourself. Turn it off. I’m putting my foot down. What would you know anyway?”
A wise man once said nothing.
In fact, unless your music, clothing or coffee choices are hurting them, questioning you about it means they’re looking to bring you down. The perfect response for nearly all these inquiries is:
“I wasn’t playing/dressing/drinking/watching/eating, etc for you.”
The response will be, “Why are you being so mean?”
How dare you put your foot down!
But yes, keep it firm.
There is never a need to ask someone who isn’t you why they like something…to other than…use the information given against them…like gossip. Or to judge you…right then and there (or to judge someone else) In fact, unless it’s a blatant compliment, you can assume drama will follow. It seems like we all know someone who does it. But the feeling you get when they’re at their games is a reminder of how wrong it is.
I keep my information as tight as possible. People have told me the worst things possible, but I’ve only seen them unhappier…if that is even a thing. I decided to ignore the negativity…and work on not reacting.
Because the entire prize for people like this…is your reaction. Your reaction is the energy they need to fuel their day. If you cry or become upset, even better! They feel they’ve won and have some control over you.
Even if it upsets you, ignore it. Maybe take some time alone to readjust your mood, but never let anyone weak minded…bring you down with them.
Focus on sharing as few details as possible. Even if you’re in a good mood, their goal is to hurt you-always. I have found a handful of great people who relay my happiness back to me with either their own good news, or congratulations.
Those who are weak minded and have obvious dark attachments to their souls use these tactics for control. (Which is why I loathe the news) The greatest weapons on this planet…are fear and anger. You can’t see straight, or think straight. And you’ll do anything to ease your woes.
Instead, take a step back, breathe and think. But don’t respond. When you do respond, questions are best. Don’t ask why. Don’t ask how. Ask straight forward questions.
“Have you accomplished anything close to what I’ve done?”
“Are you over your past?”
“Do you hear yourself?”
“You understand this isn’t about you?”
“You realize I didn’t ask?”
My all time favorite…
“I’ve gotten over this. Any reason you’re bringing this up? It’s pointless.” (more like a statement, but you get it.)
Write down somewhere what you can say until you’ve recited it perfectly. Trust me, you will. Remind yourself of who you are, and what you do. A simple phrase can really bring you down, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
The truth is, the greater weapon is our breakdown (fear, anger) not the useless tools and weak vessels used to spread darkness. When you realize you can manage yourself…and you begin reminding yourself about how great you are…you’ll see misery coming from miles away.
Day to day Struggled with self mutilation-
Everyone has a chip on their shoulder. We take what we get from others and we meld it into our souls.
The issue with this is when the information given is meant to hurt. While you can ignore it, disable it and even fight for your respect ..fighting yourself is the hard part.
There is nothing wrong with looking for acceptance…but people often aren’t accepting of themselves.
We do what we do to feel better, and like an addictive drug…we have to keep taking selfies and getting likes to feel a certain way.
Loving yourself first…is key to absolute acceptance. Doing this doesn’t fix your flaws, but it helps you understand life a lot better. You’re more likely to see a man’s soul, than his good or not so good looks.
What is more important than a happy spirit? Contentment is a goal reached daily. You don’t simply reach it, then everything is fixed.
One of the first things people with strong wills don’t realize is how they will always stand up…dust themselves off and move on. Yes, you are putting yourself out there…but your reality and the outcome daily is up to you.
You can “wallow in misery” or see the chink of light. When we begin to see that we can try, it shows all over.
You also cannot say, “I will not date sad people!” How else can we help others? We previously discussed spotting red flags in people with vices they adore. If someone is sad, though, there’s a chance they’ve been hurt and cannot pull themselves out.
*When someone has a good heart, they continuously look for love. Sex or money is never a factor for relation status for them-companionship is. Listen to their story, and roll it through your head. Pay attention to possible red flags, or addictions. And, if you feel information is being withheld, step away.*
You, have been working on yourself. You know how it feels. You may even have bad days where you’ve remembered your past or pain. You also remember how someone was there to help you through your storm.
Planting a seed is plenty. And if they’re meant to be a friend or otherwise, watching it grow with them will bless you both in ways you’ve never thought possible.
As help, you’ll realize how much you’ve grown…maybe even after you’ve helped.
We all beat ourselves up the most. And the best way to help that is to TALK. People come in and out and hurt us. We stay hurt unless we let it out.
Because we all have been hurt. The best way to heal each other is to talk, listen and uplift.
I recall the wonderful things I was told, and I remind myself of them whenever I feel pain creeping into my day. When I see someone else hurting I remind them as well. Because they’ll remind me, and someone else.
And eventually, that person I’ve helped realizes they can help themselves.
But I can only do this if I have first helped myself.
“I am light.”
“I can handle this.”
“It’s going to be just fine.”
We often mock when we hear these terms, but your reality depends on how you’re viewing things. If you decide to listen to sound advice, your sight will begin to change. It’s up to you!
I hope this has helped! Thanks to all who read and have subscribed! ❤️
I recall, one day in my late twenties,thinking I had all the answers.