We, as humans, have a habit of giving ourselves too freely to those who do not deserve it. This is a common discussion among few, and I feel it needs to be more widely spread.
While remaining calm, and sorting through your thoughts has a tendency to work, being completely void of emotion towards those who seek your demise is probably the best solution to the pest control problem that we can simply call The Darkness.
The only outcome of an emotional outburst for the victim is loss of energy. (Wasting your time, getting sucked in, etc) But for the person perpetrating the fight…it’s a feast. You have given them what they wanted-the chaos and pain they sought. Afterwards, they’ll throw your reaction in your face, trying to bring you down further. They’ll even remind you of the fight simply to get more energy for you.
I’ve learned that there are certain ways to avoid it at all costs. Some call it boundaries, lines, respect, even assertiveness. All of these fall into the class of protecting the light within. What’s most important to know is how to get your point across without getting sucked into their madness-even by a little bit.
Firstly, assessing the individual and their continuous habits allows you to know when they’ll strike. If you’re an empath, you already know how people are feeling. If you feel a sense of urgency, with no deadlines to meet or important things to do, if you feel nervous and unwound. If you feel butterflies the way you do before a let down-an attack is coming. It will start with something small to test the waters, then it will slowly gain speed, like a dirty snowball rolling down a hillside.
Pretty soon, you’ll be irritated and frustrated, unknowing of why. I picked up on this on several occasions, and have been able to thwart off most attacks, even if I am still being attacked.
Your first step is, upon waking, to immediately protect yourself. Just as we talked about before…your shield and your bubble. Your next step is harder to do if you’re living with your attacker-do not speak, at all. Why? While you are in a good mood and see the world as a bright, white light on this amazing plane, the darkness seeks to destroy that mood because you view things the way they should be.
If they don’t say good morning, or how are you…speaking allows them to believe it’s okay to batter you with their nonsense. It will go a little like…asking stupid questions. Invading your privacy, eating food you bought without your permission, and repeating things from the past (like what someone did twenty years ago).
If you are unaware, of course you’ll become irritated. When you’re unraveled, you’re easier to get to. For all stupid questions, answer with a question- “what does that have to do with anything?”
Things from the past, “how long ago was that, and why are we talking about it?” Personal boundaries crossed? Ignore that they’ve taken or eaten something. Replace it without mentioning it, and continue to ignore them. They will stop, but they will ask if they offended you. While that was the goal, tell them no and go on about your day. Disengaging early prevents pointless arguments about a bag of chips.
Second, share less-enjoy peace more. Individuals who are walking corpses survive off of hearing about your life. If that includes every juicy detail, yes, you’ve become their battery. However, this same person will take what you’ve told them and use it against you. Judging you, starting arguments, and their ultimate favorite past time-bringing up old things.
At first, you feel as if you’re being short or rude. But remember…it’s your reality, and your peace. Eventually, it will become like first nature. If you’re laughing at a joke only you heard, would you explain it to someone who wouldn’t understand? No. So nothing needs to be shared, at all. If you can manage to handle all you do on your own, do so without interference.
I would even go as far as making up a pretend relationship or circumstance to throw this person off of your trail. It will give them something to do, while you live your life. It doesn’t matter who it is, your life is your business, not theirs. The more they know, the more they can attempt to control. The walking dead are usually the ones to do this more-they are soulless and are a host for a demon, and nothing more.
Lastly, make sure to include self love into all of this. Battling the darkness keeps you well in certain aspects, but sometimes those nasty attacks wear down on your soul. Take a day for yourself, nothing less. Do all the things, buy all the things, sleep…whatever it takes to refill your tank. Reason being is because it’s constant. The attacks will not cease. Light and dark exist together to create balance…but only the light understands the purpose of existence.
It is perfectly natural to stand your ground. You are not being mean, rude or selfish. People really believe it’s okay to steer someone’s mind, manipulate them at a young age, or talk about their own offspring. Of course their children are going to react-but that’s what they wanted. We don’t talk about this enough, worldwide.
Stop giving into the darkness and focus on your light. Remember this, as I close up this blog…
You’re under attack because you shine so bright.